Never Settle For Anything Less Than...

I'm a terrible blogger.  I let months go by...without a word.
Once in a while I get the urge to share some thoughts.

Throughout ones life, there are disappointments.  A lot of those disappointments are not only made by people...but are people themselves. 
If you've ever been let down by someone, you know how disheartening it feels.  You put so much faith into someone and they just turn out to be not what you really thought at all.  Do you ever wonder when or even IF you're ever going to get it right?  People always say, "try to find the good in everyone".  But is it really up to you to have to search for the good in someone?  Shouldn't the goodness shine through them like a lamplight on a dark street?  It's really baffling at times.  How can a person just be a complete jerk...for lack of a better word??  What drives some people to just fail at being a genuine, good person? "Friends" let you down and it makes you wonder how much of a friend they were in the first place.  Boys will let you down.  But boys will be boys.  No one says you have to give anyone a second chance if they hurt you or betray your trust.  Be the strong person that you know you are and dont back down.  Listen to Tom Petty and get inspired.

I guess I just wanted to say...to anyone reading...and to myself:
Be patient.  You will find what you're looking for.  Dont rush it.  And dont feel like you have any sort of time limit.  Never settle for anything less than what you know you deserve.
Dont let that one person make you close your heart to the rest of the world.

And I will find my Paul McCartney.

In the meantime, be a good person.  Be kind to those, even though they arent to you.
Learn more than anything to trust your instincts.  Rely on your heart and dont let it be swayed.
And remember, it can be magic. (see photo below, courtesy of EmilyOnASunday)

Never settle for anything less than...
your Paul McCartney...
whoever yours may be.

 "I have to go away, I've got no reason to stay here
You said someday you'll change, but even a fool will tell you
Someday never comes." -b.carlile

"you wanted a second chance, but what about mine?" -s.moore


"i was trying to fly but i couldnt find wings..." -t.swift

"from under the covers she'll dream she can soar; 
outside the door of her apartment there could still be more" -d.gilbert

"i wanna be the last thing you hear when you fall asleep..." -a.duritz


Yesterday I found out about you,
Even now just looking at you,
Feels wrong.
You say, that you'd take it all back,
Given one chance, it was a moment of weakness,
And you said yes
You should've said no,
You should've gone home,
You should have thought twice before you let it all go.
You should've known that word about what you did with her would get back to me.
And I should've been there, in the back of your mind,
Shouldn't be asking myself why,
You shouldn't be begging for forgivness at my feet,
You should've said no,
Baby and you might still have me.
You can see that I've been cryin',
Baby you know all the right things,
To say.
But do you, honestly,
Expect me, to believe,
We could ever be the same.
You say, that the past is the past,
You need one chance, it was a moment of weakness,
And you said yes.
I can't resist,
Before you go tell me this,
Was it worth it,
Was she worth this?
-t.swift 

Brandi Carlile

There are few musicians out there that I can say they truly changed my life.  Well, tonight it happened.
Tonight I saw my favorite female singer songwriter, Brandi Carlile.  I have been very excited about this for a while.  But I honestly had no idea I would walk away with the feeling that I did.  I was totally captivated.  Words cant even begin to describe how amazing this show was.  It's one of those "you had to be there" deals.  I wish to goodness that this whole experience could have been captured on film.

Her voice is 100% flawless.  Her lyrics and delivery are flawless as well.
It was a performance that I'll never forget.

She first comes out on stage with her band and they do an acapella number.
Later on Brandi brings her little sister, Tiffany, out on stage with her.  Apparently the whole family is musical.  Her mother is a country singer.  And her sister is a hairstylist that tours with Brandi (to do her hair) occasionally.
Then she announces that she has a surprise for us.  Charlotte was one of only two cities that they were filming a video for.  She and her band members step out to the very edge of the stage, completely unplugged, no microphone, and they perform "Dying Day".  It was unreal.
Brandi then does a few covers including "Mad World", "The Times They Are A-Changin" by Dylan, and some Johnny Cash.
She came out for a third encore saying she's "never done this" (meaning come out once again to play one more song).  She performed a breathtaking version of "Hallelujah". 

She also talked about how Elton (Sir Elton) taught her so many things when he collaborated with her on her most recent album. One interesting thing was that he was asking her what music she has been listening to lately.  She told him Patsy Cline, and named a few others that I dont remember.  He kept asking her if she had heard of this band and that band.  And she said no to most of them.
He told her that it's important to appreciate the timelessness of music as it is happening right now.
And that while the classics are timeless, you already know those and have those in your heart.  But if you dont seek out new music, then you wont discover the timelessness of what is right now.
It was really a very interesting point of view that I hadn't even thought about.
So, leading from that, Elton John introduced Brandi to new music, like Kings of Leon.

 I was so touched by this performance tonight. There were moments when my jaw was just dropped open.  I was so in awe and still am.

It's 2am and I have work in the morning.  But I felt I had to write my thoughts down now so that I wouldn't forget them.
Brandi Carlile is right there with Paul and Athenaeum.  Her music has affected me so deeply that it's literally changed my life.
Breathtaking, captivating, inspiring, unbelievable.

"you cant be something you're not
life is not a looking glass
dont get tangled in your past
like i am learning not to"


Here's one of the shots I got from the night:

CONAN

"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get.  But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." -CONAN O'BRIEN

Conan, we love you.

Music fans: Words of the Wise

These aren't my words...
BUT, they are my thoughts.
And it was just so good that I had to repost.
Everyone should read this and more people should think this way.

This is from my friend, Luke's, blog (http://lukepilgrim.tumblr.com/post/320581672/confessional).
He's so dead-on and it's ridiculous that more people dont feel this way.

Seriously, listen to what you like.  Who's to say it isn't "cool"??
And why like something JUST because someone says it isn't "cool".
Do your own thing.
As one of the greatest bands ever once said, "You can go your own way..."

Okay, here's the post:

Confessional

Ok I’m just gonna come out and say it. I like Taylor Swift. And I think I’m starting to like that Owl City song?
People misunderstand what music is for. If I like something, or if it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, or if it takes me back to my childhood, then I listen to it. They don’t have to be a Saddle Creek artist to be enjoyed.
Why can’ I listen to Sufjan Stevens AND John Mayer? I love Bight Eyes and own Conor Oberst’s entire catalogue. Am I then unhip if I dig a Brad Paisley song? A well written song is a well written song. Regardless of genre, artist, label etc.
To sum up. I don’t care what you think, you trendy, hipster, elitist...[...]

love,
Luke

My comments specifically on the post:
For one, anyone who knows anything about me knows that I ADORE Taylor Swift.  I just love her.  She's a talented gal and writes some crazy good songs.
Owl City.  Fireflies.  Brilliant.

Pancakes and Panthers

I went to the last Carolina Panther game of the season today with Roby (after having pancakes at the Purple Door).
It was bittersweet.  Sweet in that they won 23-10 (against the Saints) and played a great game.  They made a touchdown on the second play!  Bitter, because I'm gonna miss them til next year.  Too late to make it into the playoffs but I loved seeing all the fans there still supporting them.
A record was set:
DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart became the first set of teammates to each rush for more than 1,100 yards in the same season.

Speaking of bitter...we FROZE today.  It was so cold, bitter cold. The temperature at kickoff was 30.
According to www.panthers.com, today was the coldest home game and equaling the temperature of the fourth-coldest game in Panthers history.
Ah, yet another record set today.
I dont ever remember being quite as cold as I was today.
And the wind just kept blowing and it cut through like a knife. My fingers and toes went numb.

Back to work tomorrow.  I've been off quite a bit here lately, so it seems, for the holidays and such.
So, it's tough getting back in the swing of things.
It'll be good though.  A positive attitude will conquer all!

I'm going to set a goal to book one show this week, at least one.

It's REALLY cold outside.  It's currently 25 with a "feels like" 16.  That's according to weather.com.
Tomorrow morning is going to be a "wish I could stay under these warm covers" type of morning.
Oh wait, that's every morning.

Monday is creepin...
I must get to sleepin.

Bagel Bites in the oven for a late night snack.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
Make peace with your past so it wont screw up the present.

Happy 2nd Day of January...

I've got nothing really meaningful to say at the moment.
No deep thoughts or mindful blurbs.
Just a recap of the day.

Today was a good day, a relaxing day.
'Full House' was on for 3 hours straight this morning!
That started the day off right.

It's COLD in my house.
And it's REALLY cold outside. 
Fiona and I went for a walk today and I didn't dress appropriately. 
The wind out there cuts deep.  It was sunny though.
Currently it's about 25.
I say if it's going to be this cold, then just snow already!
I'd love to see some snow about now. 
However, after about three days of it hanging around and getting all mushy, I'm ready for it to go.
But it's so gorgeous when it's falling.
And there's something so exciting about it.  The whole weatherman deal...you can tell he's excited.
Then everyone complains that they have to go get bread and milk, but you know that deep down, they're excited too.
At least that's my take on it.

After our walk, we watched some 'Home Alone'.  It was on TV.  Not the first one...but the one where he get's on the wrong plane and ends up in New York instead of Florida.

Then it was off to Petsmart.
We enjoy our shopping time together.

Last night was cool.  I went to my parents house and hung out with them.  Mom made the traditional collard greens.  Man were they delicious!
Some lima beans, corn bread, and a roast also graced the table.
This was about 5:00.
Then, we proceeded to watch some Looney Tunes, the old school ones, not that new crap.
THEN...Alfred Hitchcock marathon.  It was awesome!!
Some Psycho, Rear Window, etc. 
I didn't make it home til after 11!

That's about all for today.
I'm kidding myself by thinking I'm going to update this everyday.
I wont do it.
But I'll try to make a habit of checking in.

I think I'm going to head to the Muse now to see a coupe of bands:
The Spalding Grays and Paper the Operator

Thought for the day:
Go where there is no path and leave a trail.

Think about that...and figure out what it means for YOU.

Chillaxinly,
SM

2010

It's 2010. It's the end of a decade.

That seems very weird in a lot of ways. It just seems like a date that was once so far out there, like maybe a time that The Jetsons lived in, right?
My how time flies.

Last night was a very low key night. I had sushi and Japanese beer with a new friend.
Then, I welcomed in the New Year by sitting in my purple chair, in my PJs, in the company of Fiona, my roommate of two years who will be moving away this year, and her cat.
We watched all of the hideous music on the Dick Clark/Ryan Seacrest NYE special and did the countdown til the ball dropped.
It was nice and relaxing. And I was perfectly content and happy with giving Fiona a kiss at midnight.

As I look back on 2009, there was some bad...but there was a lot of good too. I'll call it the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Let's get the bad out of the way first.

The Bad:
I was in love for the first time in my life. Really, truly, in love.
I had my heart broken...crushed...for the first time in my life.
I realized what being heartbroken really means. It's not just a state of mental sadness or a simple figure of speech. They call it a broken heart because your heart literally aches. Your chest actually has this pressure that is real.
From this experience I have learned not to let people affect me so deeply. I will be more alert to "bad" people and I will stay away from them.
I will be more cautious of who I let in my life.
I will keep my heart confined and I wont let it feel so freely.
I will keep one foot on the ground.
Never let anyone ever tell you that your expectations are too high. Because that's just not possible. Expect someone to "be alive when you need them the most".
I will "stop running from the past that makes [me] weak".
At present, I'm at a state of "I hate men" attitude. But maybe that will change in 2010. If it's supposed to, it will.
They, whoever "they" are, say that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with that right now. It is what it is.

"I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings.
Coming down is the hardest thing.
Some say life will beat you down, break your heart, steal your crown"- Tom Petty
"That's when I said I'll need more than you can offer me. But I miss your face as you can tell. I hope my absence makes you well." - M.Kano

The Ugly:
I learned a lot about people in general over the year.
Some people can really surprise you. People can be so ugly. So ugly on the inside yet so beautiful on the outside. Sometimes you think you know someone inside and out because you've known them for years. But the truth is, you never really knew them at all.
You just saw the parts you liked and you saw their showy outside. I learned the need to really discover people. Discover if they're the forgiving type or if they hold grudges. Discover if they are truly your friend and will be there throughout everything, good and bad, or if they will be the ones that say "I told you so" and walk away.
As hard as it might be, try to not just know someone, but get to know their heart. Become familiar with their inner working before its too late and you're the one who ends up getting hurt. Sometimes it might be your best friend who ends up being that one that you really never knew.
Love one another. Because you never know what may happen from one day to the other. Do as best you can not to have any regrets. If there's something about a person you dislike, try hard to see the good. And try to never say things you may regret.

"It dont matter to the sun if you go or if you stay. No, the sun is gonna rise, shine down on another day. There will be a tomorrow even if you choose to leave. It dont matter to the moon if you're not in my life. No, the moon will just keep hangin' 'round like its just another night. -Rosie Thomas

I also learned how badly people can take you and what you do for them for granted. I realized that if you work so hard for someone and believe in someone, whether is be a band, a person, a thing, and put all of your time and effort in them, they can just decide to leave you high and dry at the end of it all. Leaving you there, no credit given, no 'thank you for what you've done to help us get this far', nothing. So I've learned to be more cautious of who I give my time to. Be mindful that you're doing things for you and for people who wholeheartedly care about you. Dont waste your time on ANYONE who doesnt appreciate you. Spend time on what and who really matters.

"knowing when to hang on, knowing when to let go, knowing when, knowing which is the hardest part." -J.Chapman
"letting go, letting go, let it go" - J.Chapman
"you can loose it all, walking on Broadway" - M.Kano

The Good:
I got an AMAZING little friend, my sidekick, Fiona. (May 29)
She's one of the best things that's ever come into my life. She's helped me and changed me in so many ways.
It's tough for some to imagine that a little 10 pound, four legged, dog can be something so powerful.
She has a spark in her and has shared that spark with me.
I'm looking forward to many many more years with her.

I somehow managed to make it another year, living on my own.
Here, at the Purple Door, is where I belong for a least another year. I've fallen in love with this place. It's got so much character and well, it's got a purple door.
It's the first place I've ever lived aside from my parents place. So, maybe that's why I'm a little attached. I'm looking forward to spending 2010 here.
And, I love Charlotte. While other cities are appealing, this one is for me. For one, I'm very close to my family. And I couldn't imagine moving away from them and not being able to see my parents on a regular basis.

"It's a tight & twisted road. We've got a long, long way to go. Though we might not see the end, on the way, we're unafraid." -J.Chapman

Some movies I saw in the theatre in 2009:
-Marley and Me
-Yes Man
-Gran Torino
-Bride Wars (twice)
-Hannah Montana
-Hotel For Dogs
-Earth
-State of Play
-StarTrek
-August Rush
-The Hangover
-500 Days of Summer
-This Is It
-Everybodys Fine

I had Ethiopian food for the first time (2/28)!

On the top of my list of best days of 2009 was being FRONT row for Sir Paul McCartney on August 15.
And to top the cake, making eye contact with the man several times. Seeing him smile and look at me as I was jumping to 'I Saw Her Standing There' was surreal. Both of us, perhaps imagining being on that EXACT date...44 year prior...at Shea Stadium. Him, as already experiencing it and being reminded of it by the songs, the smiling sometimes screaming faces, and me just imagining what it must have been like.
It was a day I'll never forget.

We lost one of the greatest performers ever, Michael Jackson, on June 25.
He is such a legend and was such a huge icon.
I know people have different views on him. But for me, he stood for outstanding talent, honestly, and he was a caring man.
It was one of those times where you'll never forget where you were and what you were doing when you heard the news.
It's truly a sadness and will leave a deep scar on the music industry and people all over, and in their hearts. I'm considering this a good. Because I'm not looking at this as losing a wonderful entertainer, but I'm looking at the effect he had and the memories, songs, and dance moves he left behind for us.

My photography hobby turned into getting some paid gigs. I shot my first 'family portrait' session, I did an engagement shoot, and I actually shot my first wedding.
And after all of this, I realized that live band photography is still my forte.
That said, I'm always up for all kinds of shoots. So...if you need me... just sayin'!

My "real" job is great. 2010 will make it FIVE years! I'm happy of what I've accomplished and I'm happy to be there. I've got a great work environment and I like the people I have to be around everyday. I wont lie. Of course there are days where I wake up and dont want to go. But that's not because I hate my job. It just that I love my home and the bed is just so warm!
Triple S is great. Lots of hard work but that's what keeps me going. 2010 will be a good year for Triple S. I have such dedication and drive for this and I enjoy it. I'm happy with my accomplishments here as well. I've been able to hang in there and keep pressing forward and I'm proud of myself for that. It's something I'm serious about and I intend to keep growing.
Always learning, always growing, is succeeding.

I love live music...STILL. That's for sure.
The (approximate) number of bands/shows I saw/went to in 2009:
230
Yes, I write everything down in my daily planner. And yes, I just DID go back and count.
Ridiculous, I know.

There's so much more I could say about 2009. But, I'll leave it at that.
It's time to move on and have a fresh start to 2010.

"These things will change. These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down." -T. Swift

For 2010, I will strive to do the right things and be a better person. I will do good things that make myself happy and that in turn will make the ones who are truly my friends happy. It will not be a year for worrying about what other people think or doing things just to please others.
I will be the best daughter, dog owner, friend, and worker that I can be. I will strive to be true and honest in all things.
And that will be enough.
I still live by the words of 'Radiance' like I did when I was fifteen. I can relate to every word, even still. Maybe more so now.

"Know yourself better than your favorite book on that shelf; you are more than what you seem to be." - M.Kano

Be fearless.

“"FEARLESS” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again…even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, it’s FEARLESS to stop believing them. It’s FEARLESS to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away. Loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. Allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright…that’s FEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charming and happily ever after. Love is FEARLESS." -T.Swift

It's 2010. It's the beginning of a decade.